Let us understand the occurrence of anger. It is anger that gets us and not vice-versa. Is anger justified? Well, we cannot get angry deliberately. Justification should be sought for something that is under our control. When that is not so, there is no question of justification. We find ourselves angry. Anger grips us. We are helpless.
Anything done in anger will cause someone harm. Anger will hurt both the one it is directed against, and the one expressing it. Anger does not solve any problem. It can never be productive in any sense. It is very often used as a tool to control others. But it is not an effective weapon. Anger is like a match-stick that must burn before it can burn something else. Anger will burn one’ s own mind and heart before it burns another’s.
Anger is a result of. demand. When a demand is not satisfied it gives rise to anger. The demands we make of others, and the world, come from our emotional needs. These needs are expressed as demands through which one wants to control others. When these demands are not met with, frustration comes. When one is not in control it makes the person feel helpless. This frustration and helplessness manifest as anger. The way to freedom from anger is to first recognize its mechanism.
Learn to accept the world for what it is. Learn to accept ourselves as we are. Graceful acceptance of things as they are is a way to become free. from demands and anger.
People say anger is justified in situations Where injustice and harm is inflicted upon innocent people. Then also a proper response is in order, but not anger. Clarity and firmness of conviction will help us determine what an appropriate response is.
Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita that anger is our number one enemy. It arises from demand or desire. It is best to understand our mind and its demands and to deal with them accordingly so that anger does not get in the way. We can remain deliberate and do what is right in a given situation.
Excerpts from: Hindu Dharma Basics & Beyond